Beating the Retreat

After a day of sweat, spears and crimson blood, when soldiers used to call it a day or ‘beat the retreat’, it was usually with a ceremony of music and massed bands. The tradition continues in England, and in Commonwealth countries, generally against the backdrop of a castle. In India, the tradition started by James II in 1690, marks the end of Republic Day celebrations every 29th January. So, there we were, at the nerve centre of India’s political power, Vijay Chowk, Raisina Hills, for a preview of Beating the Retreat.

Six men sit still atop camels in the background, while bands trooped in with their bugles, bagpipers, trumpets, drums and played some scintillating music with enchanting synchronization. Some band members tapped their feet to music and the tapping too is neatly choreographed. The leaders of each band sway their clubs as they march, occasionally throwing it in the air to mark a change a note. The spectacle is resplendent to say the least, with variegated colours of uniforms- blue, orange, red, green, checks, turbans et al, and an endlessly variety of instruments. Fanfare is perhaps the best example of perfect synchronization with bands marching fast while coming, and then they march slow, twirl around and form patterns while performing. Towards the end, massed bands perform with their drums, first rising in crescendo and echoing through the massive buildings of Lutyens’ Delhi, then ebbing in a soft refrain.

This year 30 bands are performing, 8 from the navy and air force, and 22 from the army. Most of the compositions this time are Indian, and Captain P.G. George of the navy is the captain of the time. This is the 24th time he’s participating in the function, and tells that most of the tunes are new except Souza’s Thunderer which is an essential marching doggerel, and the evergreen Abide With Me, which was a favourite with Gandhi ji and King George V. The song was composed by Henry F. Lyte in 1847 as a premonition song for his death of tuberculosis. The tune was later changed by William Monk in 1864 and the tune has stayed with many churches and army bands ever since. There’s a composition by S.C. Hill called Hindostan Hamara Hai which is also quite a lilting refrain. Hill had also written a book called Three Frenchmen of Bengal, about the rise of the Brits and the demise of the French. So the Hill connection is quite interesting on Raisina Hill, for in him we find the confluence of Hindostan, Inglistan and Fransistan.
(The pic is by Naresh Sharma)

M Grade ka Maalik

Wonsaponatime, in 1994, a reviewer wrote this about a movie, “There are A grade, B grade and C grade films, but this one is beyond all that. It falls into the M grade. M for Mithun.” The movie was Cheetah, in which Mithun da remains as young and fresh as a babe unborn after 20 years in comma, and avenges on his adversaries by using his claws like a cheetah. So, the movie-going-world is neatly divided into lovers of M grade and non-lovers of M grade. Among the M grade diehards, there are two types – lovers of Gunda and non-lovers of Gunda. In the latter category, there are zero members.

Orkut needs no introduction I guess. All kinds of Orkut freaks have been trying to run all kinds of communities, some of which are hot and most are not. To the uninitiated, try out the Gunda Fan Club. It is the most dedicated one-movie-club that’s ever happened in the history of humanity. There are over 2000 members, active members, who keep their intellectual debate alive on the ‘greatest movie ever made’. You have to watch it to believe it. It’s got a string of unforgettable characters like Bachhu Bhigona, Ibu Hatela, Lambu Atta, Kafanchor Neta etc. There are 13 murders, 3 rapes and unlimited revenge by Shankar played by the indomitable Mihtun da who works as a coolie at the airport! Every villains dies after rendering his pet musical dialogue, without any fear or favour. The icing on the cake is that the film is a musical- all dialogues are in poetry! The movie has got a rating of 9.6 on 10 on IMDB, a leading international movie website, courtesy the unfailing fans. The club has been started by the IITians, so the when you open the page, the related pages shown are IIT Kanpur, IIT Delhi etc etc. The sheer fact that over 2000 people know each and every dialogue of a 1998 film are still watching it is to say the least, amazing.

The fan club has launched a dedicated movie site, http://www.gundathemovie.com/ besides having done a collective PhD on the Kanti Shah film. To start with they researched, in their forum, on the name Gunda. It turns out that Gunda is a Norwegian name for a female warrior (from www.babynames.org !!). So who’s the female warrior in the film? All the women who lay down their lives, and whose murders shall be avenged by the coolie of the airport! In the classic musical which opens with Kafanchor neta’s (a veiled reference to George Fernandes) dialogue to Lambu Atta, “Tu jo Dilli se billi ka doodh pee ke aaya hai, bata kyun aaya hai,” our panel of experts has researched on why ‘Billi ka doodh’. They have returned with some amazing stories about benefits of cat’s milk and its wide usage in Eastern Europe. Check out http://www.burleson-arabians.com/cats_milk.htm. There are comparisions with Tarantino and Forest Gump and more, and obviously the winner of all discussions in the forum is Mithun da alias Prabhuji. Prabhu ji, why? Gunda opens with a Mithun photo with a caption “Prabhuji Films” and a background voice that says “Do chaar chhe aath dus, bus!” Fans attribute this rendering of five numbers as relating to Pythagoras and his theorems of duality and pentagrams. There are FAQs, some 300 in number that explain the rationale behind the profound scenes that go beyond normal human perception. There are endless downloads where you can download ringtones, and M grade movies. The underground movement threatens to usurp all things mainstream. There’s a real life story in one of the discussions. Goes like this, “Yesterday, I went to a cobbler for getting my shoes polished. I noticed T.L.V. Prasad written on his hand. I asked his name and he said his name was Gopal.... I asked then why T.L.V. Prasad??? He said because he makes movies of Mithun da...I asked then why didn't you write Mithunda... He said he had it tattooed it on his chest...”

Space restricts me from going on about the ongoing PhD happening at this page, but there’s a lot of craze about Dada’s role in Guru, where he is reportedly said to have played Ram Nath Goenka, the founder of Indian Express. He looks old and jaded in the film, but that doesn’t deter the fans from watching a film in which he does his deeshko dance again with a svelte 18 year old. Join the club and make it 10 on 10 on IMDB!
(the cartoon is by Jishudev Malakar)